Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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