please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
