I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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