Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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