big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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