too bad you live with your parents still
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
