I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
nutella sex= disaster
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
