I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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