you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Can I color on your dick again?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
