I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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