you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
