i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
