I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
