at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
