I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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