Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize