Me too!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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