You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
