I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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