So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
