we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
