we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
