She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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