I wish I could teleport
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pants are for mortals
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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