I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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