is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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