My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
