Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
