its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
