Christians are straight up FREAKS
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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