So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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