I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
