yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just pynch a tree in the face
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
wow bdsm is so cute
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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