sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
