remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
