On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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