you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
