You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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