I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
