North Korea, Best Korea!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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