just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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