two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
