we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
