I cut my penus on the lid.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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