If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Someone signed my nipple.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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