hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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