i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
