YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
