Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
