well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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